September 16, 2020

1 Leadership Thought

Giving useful feedback, clarifying roles, and driving results — these are the responsibilities of any leader.

This is equally true for anyone who works with people—CEOs, middle managers, and first-time leaders. The problem is that people are messy, including ourselves, which makes it difficult to know where to begin.

The most critical element to leading a team that very few people focus on is establishing a trusting relationship with each person who reports directly to you.

Your relationships and your responsibilities reinforce each other positively or negatively, and this dynamic is what drives you forward as a manager — or leaves you dead in the water.

“Your ability to build trusting, human connections with the people who report directly to you will determine the quality of their relationships, your team’s culture, and everything that follows.” (Share this on Twitter)

Here are the top 5 things that get in the way of establishing that trusting relationship:

  • Power dynamics

  • Fear of conflict

  • Worry about professional boundaries

  • Fear of losing credibility

  • Busyness

Nevertheless, having strong relationships with your teammates is the most important part of being able to give useful feedback, clarify roles, and drive results.

The three most important keys to being able to establish trusting relationships with your teammates are:

  • Initiate Authenticity — Be your whole self and care about each of the people who work for you as a human being. Yes, this even means sharing some vulnerability with your team. They already know you're not perfect, so don’t try to be.

  • On-Time Feedback — If someone isn’t meeting expectations, they need to know ASAP. This isn’t micromanaging, it’s letting them know what needs to change in a timely manner so that they can actually make that change and win at their job. When you help your teammates know how to win, you show them that you care about them professionally.

  • Candid Accountability — What you’re aiming for is trust that opens the door to every team member (including you) giving and receiving on-time praise and criticism that helps the entire team achieve the results you’re aiming for.

As you use those keys to cultivate a culture of trust on your team where your people believe you care about them personally and professionally, they are much more likely to:

  • Receive and act on your praise and criticism

  • Tell you (and each other) what they really think about where the team is at

  • Embrace their role on the team

  • Enjoy working together towards the goals your team has set

1 Resource

Kim Scott on receiving guidance from Sheryl Sandberg:

After an important meeting was over, my boss said, “Why don’t you walk back to my office with me?” She started telling me about the 4-5 things she liked about the presentation...finally, she said, “But…” and I sort of held my breath:

Sheryl: “You said, ‘Um,’ a lot...was it because you were nervous?”

Kim: “No, I didn’t really feel nervous.”

Sheryl: “Well, would it be helpful if we hired a speaking coach so you could learn to communicate better?”

Kim: “Oh, well, I don’t really have the time for that.”

Sheryl: “You know, Kim...I can tell I’m not really getting through to you. I’m going to have to be more clear here. When you say ‘Um...’ every 3 words, it makes you sound stupid.”

That got my attention.

Some people would have said that it wasn’t very nice to say that I sounded stupid, but in fact, it was the kindest thing she possibly could have done for me.

If she hadn’t said it just that way, I would have kept blowing her off, and I wouldn’t have addressed the problem — what a silly thing to let trip you up.

Source: Radical Candor - The Surprising Secret to Being a Good Boss

1 Question

What are you avoiding just because the answer is painful?